Dear American Girl,
I have a friend who won’t give me space. She is always waiting for me after class, always texting me, and always inviting me over after school. I just need a break and some space to breathe. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. What should I do?
Here's your advice:
She might be acting this way because she doesn’t have a lot of other friends. This is a difficult situation. I think that you should make an effort to show her that you care and like being her friend. However, it’s important to show her that you need your space, too. Tell her that you really appreciate the invitation to come over, but that you can’t accept her invitations every time.
-Rachel, age 12, Missouri
The next time you see this friend, explain that you need more time for yourself. If she asks why, tell her that you need “me time” and you also want to spend some time with your other friends. Be sure to explain this in a nice way.
-Bella, age 11, Pennsylvania
I think you should tell her how you feel. A good friend will understand your need space sometimes. If you don’t talk to your friend about your feelings, things might boil up and cause a fight later on. Talk to her soon.
-Magdalena, age 11, Poland
Be honest with this friend. It’s important to be clear and honest in order to have a good friendship. I know it’s a hard conversation, but it’s an important one if you need some space.
-Saratou, age 11, Iowa
Spend time with this friend after school and hang out with your other friends during recess or lunch.
-Emily, age 9, Illinois
Alternate between this friend and another friend. It’s OK to spend time with more than one friend! The three of you could all hang out together. Also, remember to be clear about when you need alone time.
-Cara, age 11, Texas
Nicely explain that you’d like some space. My twin sister needs reminders, too. I usually tell her that I need some time to hang out with my other friends or to be alone. I hope this works for you.
-Emma, age 11, California
Make sure she knows that you want to spend time with her and you also want to spend time with your other friends. Be sure to explain this, though. You don’t want her to feel like you’re ignoring her.
-Daisy, age 10, New York
Ask this friend to give you some space for a little while. Explain that you’re not upset with her and you just need a break sometimes. There’s a chance that she might be a little upset with you for saying this, but it’s also possible that she will understand. Good luck.
-Madison, age 9, Alabama
Your friend might be acting like this because she really likes spending time with you. I think that you should let her know that you really like having her as a friend but you that need some space for yourself.
-Julianne, age 12, Maine
I think that you should tell your friend how you’re feeling in a nice way. Explain that you like spending time with her, but you really need some alone time.
-Ayah, age 10, Canada
Is there a reason that your friend is acting this way? Maybe she’s been struggling to find other friends or is worried about losing you as a friend for some reason? Talk to her about needing some space, and maybe you’ll find out if there’s something else going on.
-An American Girl fan
Try talking to this friend. She probably isn’t trying to annoy you. Maybe she doesn’t have any other good friends. I think you should explain that you still want to be friends, but just need some room to breathe. I think that you should explain this in person, not over texts. Texts can be misunderstood or sometimes sound mean.
-Breanna, age 11, Michigan