Dear American Girl,
I made a great friend at camp this summer. I’ve never gotten along with someone so well! We said that we would write to each other every week. I keep writing to her, but she barely sends me any letters. She keeps saying she’s really busy, but I thought we were best friends. Why can’t she make time? I’m really upset. What should I do?
Here's your advice:
There’s a good chance that she’s busy with school. You could take a little break from writing her and then try again in a few weeks or next month.
-Vanessa, age 11, Japan
Maybe you can give her a call and come up with a new plan. If it’s too time consuming to write a letter, you could send each other postcards.
-Annie, age 10, North Carolina
Ask your friend to tell you about school in your next letter. Maybe there’s a subject she’s struggling with that you’re really good at. If your friend still doesn’t write back, give her some space. I’m sure you miss her a lot, but she’s probably trying to focus on school.
-Brianna, age 11, New York
Ask a parent if you can video chat or send emails to each other. This might be easier to do! However, there’s nothing quite like getting a real envelope in the mail.
-Kaylee, age 11, Montana
You both live in different places and are living different lives. It can be really hard to stay in touch with people you don’t see very often. Maybe once school settles down for her, she will write you back more often. I’m sorry you’re feeling sad about this.
-Ella, age 12, Indiana
Maybe writing to each other every week is too much. In your next letter, suggest writing to each other each month. That way it will be easier to stick to it!
-Emma, age 10, Tennessee
I’m in a similar situation. I recently moved away and I’ve been writing my friends from home. However, it’s gotten more difficult because we’re all so busy. Try not to be mad at your friend. Do your best to understand.
-Anika, age 10, North Dakota
In your next letter, you could check in with her and ask if you can do anything to make writing to each other easier. Maybe you could write to each other less often or email if your parents allow it.
-Emma, age 11, Arkansas
It can hurt when someone says they’ll do something, and then they don’t. Try to put yourself in her shoes. What things might keep her from writing? School? Family? Sports? There are so many things going on in the beginning of the school year. Maybe writing is too time consuming. Could you chat on the phone instead?
-Martha, age 10, Connecticut
A similar thing happened to me when I wrote to my pen pal. After a while, she wrote less and did her best to write when she wasn’t busy. We didn’t write as often as we promised, but it’s really exciting when I do get a letter now.
-Sarah, age 11, Texas
It’s possible that she doesn’t have enough time or she’s forgetful. You could try writing, “Write back soon!” at the end of your letter.
-Avery, age 11, Virginia
Ask her if she will be going to camp next summer. If she says yes, maybe you can just be summer buddies. Sometimes it’s just too hard to stay in touch with people we don’t see very much.
-Haylie, age 10, Ohio
I have six pen pals all over the world. A lot of them don’t write all the time. I usually get letters when my pen pals aren’t super busy. Maybe your friend will send you more when she has free time.
-Leah, age 13, Michigan
Sometimes, long-distance friends are hard to keep. This girl might be sending you a message that she’s too busy right now, and that’s OK. If this is the case, I’m really sorry. Maybe you can be friends if you see her next summer at camp.
-Sofie, age 13, New Jersey