Dear American Girl,

I’m working on a project at school with a partner. I thought that we would be good partners, but she has basically taken over the whole project. It feels like she wants to do the whole thing on her own, and she doesn’t listen to my ideas. What should I do?
-Project problem

Here's your advice:

I was in a similar situation last year. I talked to my teacher and the three of us worked it out. My partner actually thought that I didn’t care about the project, but I’m just shy. I hope this helps.
-Shreya, age 11, California

Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling. I think that you should share some of your great ideas with her. Tell her that you want to work together and create something amazing. Listen to her, too.
-An American Girl fan

Tell your partner that you want to work on the project, too. If she doesn’t want to work together, you could each work on different parts of the project and then put it together at the end. Talk to your teacher if she doesn’t want you to participate at all.
-Kayla, age 12, Pennsylvania

Make sure that you tell your partner how you’re feeling. It’s your project, too. You should be working on it. I think that you should talk to her first but if she ignores you, talk to your teacher.
-Eve, age 9, New Hampshire

Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling. You could say something like, “I don’t feel like this is my project anymore. Can we split up the work evenly?” I hope this helps you. Good luck.
-Aviva, age 12, New York

It’s possible that your project partner doesn’t realize she’s being controlling. I think that you should present your ideas to her and explain why they’re great. If you give good reasons for your ideas, it will be hard to ignore them.
-An American Girl fan

Sometimes when people act like this, it’s because they like to be in control. She might not even realize she’s doing it. I think you should be clear about wanting to split the work up. She might realize that she’s not letting you participate.
-Ainsley, age 12, Wisconsin

Do you think there’s a reason she doesn’t want you to help? Maybe she’s really worried about her grade and wants to be in control. It’s possible that she really needs an A. Talk to her about this. Even if she is concerned about her grade, she needs to include you.
-Isabel, age 11, Georgia

Some people really like being in charge. However, it’s still important for both of you to work on this project together. This is your project, too.
-Lauren, age 10, Mississippi

I know it can be really hard to stand up for yourself but it’s important. This is just as much your project as it is hers. Ask your partner if you can divide up the work and come up with a plan together.
-An American Girl fan

I think you should be straightforward about how you’re feeling. Share your ideas and ask her how you can work together to make this assignment great.
-Bella, age 12, Iowa

I think that you should say, “We’ve been using a lot of your good ideas. Can we start using some of mine, too?” Make sure you talk things out and be considerate so she knows you like her ideas as well as your own.
-Hallie, age 10, Alabama

The best advice I can give you is to be honest. Talk to her about how you’re feeling and let her know that you want to help with this project. If she will not listen to your ideas and continues to ignore you, talk to your teacher.
-Rachel, age 12, Missouri

HELP! from You